Why Your Libido Vanished and How to get it back:The "Pregnenolone Steal"
Why you should care: It’s not you, it’s not your partner, and it’s not just "getting older." It’s your body’s brilliant (but frustrating) stress response choosing survival over sex.
February is often the month of romance, hearts, and focusing on love. But let’s have an honest conversation about something many women over 35 struggle with silently: Libido. If you have felt a sudden drop in your desire, or if your sex drive feels like a distant memory, you might be blaming yourself. You might think, "I'm just too tired," or "My hormones are broken."
Your body isn't broken. It is actually working exactly as it was designed to. The problem isn't your desire; the problem is a biological phenomenon called the Pregnenolone Steal.
The Seesaw of Stress vs. Sex
To understand why your libido has vanished, we have to look at your adrenal glands. These walnut-sized glands sit on top of your kidneys and produce hormones that regulate everything from stress to blood sugar to reproduction.
Two of the key players here are Cortisol (your stress hormone) and DHEA (a precursor to sex hormones). Think of them like a seesaw: generally, when cortisol is high, DHEA goes low. But the connection goes even deeper. Both cortisol and your sex hormones (like progesterone) are made from the same "mother" hormone called Pregnenolone.
The "Steal" Explained
Imagine Pregnenolone is a bank account. Under normal circumstances, your body withdraws from this account to make plenty of sex hormones, keeping your cycle healthy and your libido humming. However, your body prioritizes survival above everything else.
When you are chronically stressed, whether from a high-pressure job, family demands, or lack of sleep, your body perceives a threat. To keep up with the demand for cortisol (to help you "fight or flee",) your body steals Pregnenolone away from sex hormone production to manufacture more cortisol.
In short: Your body considers your libido a luxury it can't afford right now. It is too busy trying to survive the "danger" of your daily stress to worry about reproduction or intimacy.
How to Stop the Steal and Reclaim Your Spark
If stress is the thief, then safety is the cure. To invite your libido back, you have to signal to your adrenals that you are safe.
Prioritize "Adrenal Rest": You cannot force desire, but you can nurture it by resting. This doesn't just mean sleep; it means activating your parasympathetic nervous system through deep breathing or a walk in nature.
Nourish Your Hormones: Ensure you are eating enough healthy fats and proteins to provide the building blocks for your hormones.
Balance Your Blood Sugar: Stable blood sugar takes a huge load off your adrenals, freeing up resources for sex hormone production.
Low libido is often a symptom of a system in overdrive. What is one thing you will do this week to show your adrenals some love?
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